Excerpt:
06/01/2011
http://www.disclose.tv/forum/why-men-can-t-bear-to-see-women-cry-t40345.html
Excerpt:
Ladies, when your husband says "Honey, you know I can’t stand to see you cry.” - Believe him. According to Neurobiologist Noam Seobel’s recent study on why women’s tears have such an affect on men;
It isn’t that men simply happened to be moved by those tears which we shed, it’s that their testosterone levels actually decrease. Also, according to the study, it isn’t the sight of tears but actually it’s the scent. It’s the same subtle pheromones which will either attract or repel the opposite sex.
Now, it’s not that the study proved anything, which women haven’t already known. It’s the oldest trick in the book. Our mother’s and grandmothers have shown us how well tears work and it’s become inherit in our making, so much so that modern and liberated women need to take extra measures to ensure we don’t resort to such manipulative maneuvers.
However, one thing women may not have known is that the scent of their tears is something, which can turn a man off. Therefore, if that’s not something you want to do, then I would suggest you doing your crying when he’s not around.
I would mention that Seobe also states:
“The scent may well be an evolutionary adaptation meant to protect women against aggressive or sexually charged men.”
However since it doesn’t explain why men continue to abuse women in spite of those tears, I would have to add some salt to that one.
Recently, a gentleman admitted that he can't stand to see anything worse than a lady cry. He’s seen horrendous assaults done to people and said that he was unaffected by it. But the one thing he said which he can’t understand is why it bothers him to see a woman cry. Had this study come out a few days prior to that conversation, I would have said, “Honey, it’s all about your testicles.”
http://www.amazon.com/Crying-Natural-Cultural-History-Tears/dp/0393321037
Excerpt:
Freud's rejection of crying as catharsis, the book covers a remarkable amount of material across a great deal of time, while remaining a cohesive text.
http://thoughtfulindia.com/2011/02/is-crying-at-work-kiss-of-death/
Excerpt:
Is Crying at Work -’Kiss of Death?’
Scientists are onto a curious phenomenon. In a new study from the Weizmann Institute of Science in Israel, researchers discovered that when women cry, men’s testosterone levels drop significantly.Multiple experiments showed that just the smell of a woman’s tears caused a dip in testosterone and reduced brain activity in areas associated with sexual arousal. The researchers believe it is a clear sign that human tears send chemical signals to the people around them. But if tears are a form of communication, what messages are women sending when they cry at work—an organization already opposed to displays of emotion?
“Testosterone is a key power hormone that gets corporate executives in warrior mode,” says Judith Orloff, M.D., a psychiatrist and the author ofEmotional Freedom. When a woman cries in the presence of a male colleague, “it’s threatening hormonally. Studies have associated lower testosterone levels in men with feelings of failure.”
Most professional women have fought back tears in the workplace at some point in their careers–many unsuccessfully. A professor of management at the University of California, Davis, Kim Elsbach, Ph.D., has been studying the repercussions of crying in the workplace for over three years. According to her research, women are much more likely to cry at work—and in general—due to their socialization. Because most boys are firmly taught not to cry, holding back has become a reflex, she says. And unfortunately for women, tears at work are almost always perceived with disdain, and the consequences can be harsh.
“Because women aren’t socialized like men,” says Elsbach, “they carry an extra burden of emotional labor.”
In her research, Elsbach discovered that there are few situations where crying is “acceptable.” The worst offenses, she found, are crying in a public meeting or because of work stress, like a looming deadline or coworker disagreement, because it is considered disruptive and weak. Crying in a private performance evaluation is also considered unprofessional and often manipulative.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/theobserver/2003/nov/30/features.magazine37
Excerpt:
Kraemer remembers the transition well. Born in 1942, Kraemer, like John Bowlby, the eminent psychiatrist who practised at the Tavistock before him, was raised in the traditional British pattern. But come the birth of his first son in 1983, times - and the expectations on fathers - had changed.
'I was brought up to be one of those men who did not cry or show emotion. The idea that fathers could be intimate with their children did not make sense. I had to change completely,' he says.
http://childrenneedlove.wordpress.com/category/7-bs/belief-in-babys-cry/cry-it-out/
Excerpts:
1) Would Letting Him Cry Solve the Problems?
“…If a day or two of letting a child cry to sleep would solve all problems, there is no way that the previously quoted percentages would be so high (they are in the book on the other page). In addition, if those who tried it found immediate, simple success, it would be impossible for word not to spread quickly around the world. The truth is that even though cry-it-out advocates try to tell you that it’s a quick fix, it often takes weeks or even months of very intense crying (and very little sleeping) for a child to finally succumb and start sleeping better, only to relapse after teething, illness, vacations, schedule changes, and growth spurts. So to imply that “a few nights of crying” would solve everything is naive and unrealistic….’
2) Why Love Matters How Affection shapes a baby’s Brain By Sue Gernardt“…Unfortunately, leaving a baby to cry or to cope by himself for more that a very short period usually has the reverse effect: it under minds the baby’s confidence in the parent and in the world, leaving him more dependent not less. In the absence of the regulatory partner, a baby can do very little to regulate himself or herself other than to cry louder or to withdraw mentally. But the pain of being dependent like this and being powerless to help yourself leads to primitive psychological defenses based on two options. …” “… it’s either fight or flight. Cry loudly or withdraw….”
“…The effects of cortisol on the immune system are well documented (Cohen and Crnic 1982; Sternberg 2001). In essence cortisol instructs the immune cells temporarily to slow down the immune response, allowing the body’s energy to be focused on the crisis in hand. As a temporary measure this is tolerable. However, when the stress is chronic and doesn’t get resolved quickly, as in relationship problems or chronic grief, then the continued release of cortisol can have a serious impact on the immune system….”
Extract from
Children Endangered Species by Lesley Max“…One party has language, maturity and power. The other party has ‘no language but to cry’.
We choose, very often, not to listen to that cry. Sometimes it is inaudible. Children stop crying after a while when their cries produce no response. Very, very few adults are investigating that silence.
Ann Crane, president of the New Zealand Child Psychotherapists’ Association, says, “I could go into any daycare center in the city and find you children who are in shock” …”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cortisol
Excerpt:
Main functions in the body
Cortisol's primary functions in the body are:
- increasing blood sugar through gluconeogenesis
- suppressing the immune system
- aiding in fat, protein, and carbohydrate metabolism
Another function is to decrease bone formation. Cortisol is used to treat diseases such as Addison’s disease, inflammatory and rheumatoid diseases, and allergies. Low-potency hydrocortisone, available over the counter in some countries, is used to treat skin problems such as rashes, eczema and others.
Cortisol prevents the release of substances in the body that cause inflammation. It stimulates gluconeogenesis (the breakdown of protein and fat to provide metabolites that can be converted to glucose in the liver) and it activates anti-stress and anti-inflammatory pathways.[3]
http://stress.about.com/od/stresshealth/a/cortisol.htm
Excerpt:
Normally, it’s present in the body at higher levels in the morning, and at its lowest at night. Although stress isn’t the only reason that cortisol is secreted into the bloodstream, it has been termed “the stress hormone” because it’s also secreted in higher levels during the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response to stress, and is responsible for several stress-related changes in the body. Small increases of cortisol have some positive effects:
- A quick burst of energy for survival reasons
- Heightened memory functions
- A burst of increased immunity
- Lower sensitivity to pain
- Helps maintain homeostasis in the body
http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/how-crying-can-make-you-healthier-1009169.html
Excerpt:
The increasing research into crying and its beneficial health effects may also make shedding tears less of a taboo behaviour. As Professor Frey, author of Crying: the Mystery of tears, points out, it is no accident that crying has survived evolutionary pressures. Humans are the only animals to evolve this ability to shed tears in response to emotional stress, and it is likely that crying survived the pressures of natural selection because it has some survival value,'' he says. "It is one of the things that makes us human.''
No comments:
Post a Comment